Gender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation

As a fifth grade teacher, the word "gay" and "homo" have come up on many different occasions. When I have questioned the children about it, they generally know a very basic definition about what the terms mean. A couple of boys called a couple of girls “lesbos” because they went to the bathroom together. I simply pointed out that girls go to the restroom with other girls on a regular basis and that they also went to the restroom with other boys as well. So did that mean the same thing? Of course, they said, “No!” I think that most children use these terms for a shock factor. Most don’t know the complete definition, but they know something. Therefore, they use it to be “cool.” When the girls were called this, it bothered them because they know that it is a term that is used to describe girls doing sexual things with other girls. Kids that bully other children by using these kind of terms can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and can make children become afraid to come to school. We must step up and take this type of situation seriously. Because it is not something that we see a lot of in elementary school, we tend to brush it off and not really discuss it. GLBTQ students are also at risk for not getting the support they need when they are being bullied due to their perceptions that adults at school may have intolerant attitudes or may not provide confidential help in which to deal with their situation.10 Four out of five GLBTQ students say they know of no supportive adult at school (Riese, 2014).
As I thought about material that I have seen throughout our school, I would say that we do not do a good job of representing the different family structures in our classroom libraries. It is not just homosexual families but we do not do a good job of representing heterosexual families either. We are a small school, and I only know of two children that come from families with two moms and two dads. We do have several single parent homes and those where the grandparents or other family members are raising them. If we are going to represent one type of family structure, then I feel we should seek material that would depict as many family structures as we can.
References
Riese, J. (2014). Youth who are bullied based upon perceptions about their sexual orientation. Retrieved from http://www.violencepreventionworks.org.

Post of Appreciation

Just a note to say thank you for the support and wonderful posts that each of you has shared over the course of this class. I think that becoming a more effective communicator is a goal that I am going to work toward as a professional in the early childhood field. The examples that you all have shared and the responses that you have posted will be useful to me as I continue on my journey. I wish each of you success as you continue and maybe I will have the privilege of working with some you again in our next class. Thank you again!

Adjourning Phase - 5th of the Five Stages of Team Development

When considering the different groups that I have been involved in, I would say that the group that I had the hardest time saying goodbye to was the church building committee. Although I still saw the group of people that I served with on the committee, the fact that “we” did not complete the project that we had set before us left me with a feeling of failure. It was hard to have worked so diligently on this project with this great group of people and not get to see what we had worked so hard for happen under our watch.
Another group that I would like to share is the cohort that I was a part of at Tusculum. During our forming stage – where we met each other for the first time, we were able to get to know each other and figure out which group we fit more closely with. (Where and who we would sit with.) We were to get into groups of six and the group that I ended up with made for a great team. We communicated well with each other and each of the members had something that they could bring to the table. We were very fortunate to have a “tech savvy” man in our group that really brought things to life. He was usually the leader on our group. We all worked so well together and each took our part in the group very seriously. When it was time to say goodbye, it was truly a hard thing to do. I spent 20 months, and countless hours with this group and we had become so close. Most of us still keep in touch with each other today. The adjourning phase for us in this situation was a success. Over the course of those 20 months, we produced some great projects and each of us worked together to make it a great success.

I think that the adjourning phase is kind of like the icing on the cake. It is done and you feel that sense of accomplishment. The fact that we did not make it to this phase while on the church building committee left me feeling like we failed. I think that seeing your hard work completed leaves you with a feeling of accomplishment and we did not get that.

Adjourning from this online cohort will be different from the adjourning phase I experienced with the cohort where we attended class together, because although we are in groups, we don’t really get to know each other on a real personal level. I do feel that upon completion of this degree, even though we do not know each other on a personal level, we have provided each other with some great feedback and ideas that we can each take with us.

Communication Conflict

This year, I was involved in a conflict with a representative from a company that our school had invited to represent us for insurance purposes. I hate conflict and this whole incident was very difficult for me as I tried to be positive and open about what was going on. I am unable to share some of the details of this incident, but basically, this representative came in and took my personal information in order to present me with a quote of how he could help me. This information was promised to be back to me within a week. After three weeks, and no responses to my phone calls, I started inquiring about this representative. Come to find out, I was not the only one that was experiencing this same kind of treatment. As I said, I struggle with conflict, but am now growing more and more concerned with the fact that I have not heard from this representative and my personal information is out there somewhere. I am still considering checking into identity theft. The two times that I did speak with this person, all I could get was personal sob stories. Being the person that I am, I bit, hook- line- and sinker. When I saw this representative at my school, I made it a point to speak with my principal and she brought us both in to her office where we could discuss what was going on. I think that I was able to get my point across in a way that was non-threatening, but after I explained why I felt the way that I did about this situation, I turned the tables by asking how this would have made him feel. I also asked if he would not have had some of the same thoughts had it been his personal information floating around out there with no communication whatsoever? My papers were finally returned, but am still concerned about my information being stolen. I do think that the way that I handled my part of the situation was in a productive way, and it involved a lot of probing and playing of the devil’s advocate. I think that I did use the 3 R’s in order to help with this situation as I was not demanding, but respectful and responsive in my interactions with him.
If you were in my position, would you be concerned with identity theft? Just curious.

Communication Evaluation

After completing the three tests this week and having my husband and a colleague evaluate me as well, I was surprised to find that each of us were pretty much on the same page when it was all said and done. I was not surprised on the verbal aggression scale that I was in the moderate level. I do feel that I maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for other’s viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than the person holding that position. I have always maintained that I am not a person that enjoys and thrives on conflict and I believe that this evaluation has supported this. The two that evaluated me were within 1 point of what my original score was on this test, so others must see this in me as well.

I believe that professionally and personally my listening styles profile says a lot about me and who I am. I am empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others, both as a professional and in my personal relationships. I do feel that I build relationships fairly easily and I have had to deal with the trust issue when it comes to others as well. I have always said I will trust someone until they give me reason not to. I know that this can come back to bite me sometimes, but I genuinely believe, and my husband has said the same thing as well, that I do tend to read people pretty well.

Communication Strategies

When I think about communication and if I communicate differently depending on who I am communicating with, I think that I would have to say yes. I am a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, teacher, and a pastor’s wife. Each of these groups that I am assembled with produces a different style of communication. I do not communicate with my students the same way that I communicate with teachers or even the parents of my students.

Some strategies that I feel will help me when I communicate with these different groups is to first of all remember the how important it is to communicate. I also need to make sure that I am paying close attention to body language and facial expressions so that I can make adjustments in our communication. Last, making sure that I am not forcing opinions on others is an important strategy as well.

I think that we must understand that people are unique and we should strive to develop communication with each person that we communicate with. It will not always be an easy task, but listening to what others have to say is very important.

Television Episode - Communication Skills and Styles

The show that I chose to watch was Friends. The characters in this episode spent much of their time with each other and due to the title of the episode, would identify their relationships as friends. It was actually very interesting to watch them without hearing what they were saying, but could by their body language that they were trying to hide something from each other. During most of the episode, the characters facial expressions could be described as looking shocked or surprised. They seemed to be focusing on something between two of the characters which lead me to believe that they were hiding something.
After watching the episode, I was correct in that there were some secretive things going on. A couple of the friends that seemed to be the two hiding something had decided to engage in a relationship and they did not want the rest of their friends to find out. They snuck around until finally, each of the friends caught on and their secret was out. Their body language was very on target with what was actually taking place in the episode – sneaking, peering, and listening while not able to be seen.
My middle son loves Friends and though I have seen a couple of these tv show episodes, I feel like I was pretty on target. If this had been a show that I watched regularly, I probably would have had no doubt of what was going on much quicker than I did. I feel that my assumptions were pretty accurate, although I was unsure of what was going on exactly.
I do believe that alot can be determined by not saying anything. Our body language and our nonverbal communication can share messages that we might not want to be shared. We need to really pay attention to these when we are communicating with others!